Fat you say? Oh sorry, I didn't see it, it must have been hiding under all my beauty!

Here's the thing, self-image is something that girls struggle with. Period. You can deny it, you can shove it aside, you can pretend like it's not there but it's there. I have struggled with it ever since I started puberty and although it has gotten better, the struggle is still there.

Right now, my entire family is on a diet, they're all on a health kick and everyone is pushing me to join them. Why? "You're too short to be that fat", "look at your belly", "you're not healthy", blah blah blah. Don't you just wish sometimes that you had a little power switch so that you could tune out all of that stuff? But like, legit tune it out. All those comments have been making me insecure lately, they're drawing me back to a place where I don't want to go, a place called depression. The last time that I seriously struggled with my self image I lost myself, I became this person that people wanted of me, I wanted to please everyone.

Here's a little tip: DO NOT try to please EVERYONE! It's impossible!! If I tried to please my family then sure, I would be on a diet and shedding pounds, but then what about me? What happens when I fail one week? Then I would be stuck thinking of myself as a loser. When we encounter failure and it has to do with our self image, the negative takes over the positive, and if you're like me, then when you are doing things for the sake of others, you won't be motivated to do it for yourself so you'll just quit. I don't want to work out or eat healthy cause people tell me to, I want to do it FOR ME! I love running, I used to do it often actually, and if I ever have that desire again then I will do it, but I want to make sure it comes out of me. You see this world has this idea of beauty, the "thin" ideal, and I don't know whose idea was it to come up with that but I know of a guy who can prove this ideal wrong.

Fernando Botero is a Colombian artist who has been doing paintings and sculptures for many years. His work is displayed around the main cities of Colombia and I can honestly say (since I am an eye witness) that it is unlike any other, take a look:

This man has dedicated his entire life to drawing FAT people, especially NAKED fat people. He mostly draws fat naked women and there are many sculptures of the kind around the world, but he has expanded to fat everything, fat men, fat animals, fat babies, fat fat fat. I don't know about you, but his work is beautiful, in my eyes, that's so beautiful. Society teaches us that there's this ONE ideal way to be, that's not true, Botero has proved that all over the world. You don't have to be thin to be beautiful, you don't have to be huge either, you are beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Since when is fat a bad thing? Since when is that not beautiful? If there was really only one ideal way to be beautiful, then wouldn't we all be the same way? The only person that has the power to define beauty for you is yourself!!! Some of you may look at these pictures and laugh your heads off or think it's completely weird but to me, it is beautiful. The bible says that God "has made everything beautiful in its time" and the reality is that beauty is not something that may or may not exist in everyone, it IS in everyone. 

I struggle with my physical beauty a lot and that's why I love encouraging girls to feel beautiful. You see I know that I am beautiful, but I don't always feel beautiful. I have been blessed to have an incredible young man by my side who doesn't let a day go by without telling me how gorgeous I am, hearing those words from a boy may help at times, but it does not determine my perspective on my beauty, on the days that I don't feel beautiful it's hard to believe him when he says that. So now what? Where do you go from there? Let me help you out a bit.

First things first, you need to come to the point of KNOWING that you ARE beautiful!! God has shown me that, He says it in His word that I am beautiful and loved and special. Something that has helped me lately is looking in the mirror and concentrating on one part of my body and first looking at my imperfections and then overlooking those to concentrate on the beauty of it. For example, my hands, I have really small hands and they are constantly dry so I have a ton of lines everywhere and I have these small dark hairs on my finders and my ring finger has this weird bump on it from me resting the pencil there when I write and my right hand has two scars and like 3 birth marks. But I have beautiful nails that are really strong and my pinkies are adorable because they're so tiny! My eyebrows are really bushy and I have a fuzzy forehead but my eyes are really beautiful and my smile is beautiful as well. It's all about learning to love yourself little by little, piece by piece. 

Once you've learned and understood that you ARE beautiful, you have to fight the daily battle of feeling beautiful. There are days when I look at myself and I see nothing beautiful, I hate pictures of myself because I never look good in any of them, I don't feel like I'm beautiful in any of them. So how do you achieve feeling beautiful? You accept your beauty no matter what you look like. Sweaty? Still beautiful. In sweat pants? Beautiful. Hair a mess? Beautiful. Greasy hair? Beautiful. A couple of pounds over? Beautiful. A couple of pounds under? Beautiful. Beautiful beautiful beautiful. Accept that reality and it will be easier for you to notice your beauty. And if people tell you otherwise, remember that they are blinded by what the media feeds us. A year ago every magazine was going crazy about Kim Kardashian, now that she's pregnant she's criticized for being "too fat", criticized by the same magazines that were saying how gorgeous she looks in a bikini. Just think about that.

This past week I found out that only 4% of women describe themselves as beautiful. That's sad, that's pathetic, and the worst part is that it's not our fault. We are taught that beauty is this and beauty is that and no one lets us define beauty on our own. You see I AM beautiful, do some people call me fat? Yes, do I have fat in me? Of course, more than I should, is that my identity? No. Never. You see I'm not fat, I'm beautiful. I'm I defined by how hairy my forehead is? No, I'm still beautiful. I am imperfect, that's true, but I am God's special little girl and I will always be beautiful because of that.

I don't care what you have heard, I don't care what you have been told, I beg you please remember this: Beautiful is not just a word, it's an attitude. Beautiful is not what the media shows us, it's what you make of it. 

God bless <3 You're beautiful!!