What can I say?

Ok...let's get personal. I like someone, I still like he same kid I've talked about before.

And he is WONDERFUL!!!!

Now the boy that I like doesn't go to school with me so most of my school friends don't know him. Yesterday I was hanging out with some friends that I love to death, they are not Christian or anything (sadly) but they are great girls. So one of them asked me "in 5 words or less tell us, what makes this guy so special?". Hmmm....I had to think about that one.

Here's why.

I had hung out with a few girls and like two boys that day. After that I went to my homecoming game and we got separated so I ended up sitting by a bunch of boys, I mean I was literally surrounded by guys, how did that happen? I don't know. But it made me realize something, they were all SOOOOO WORDLY!!! Oh my gosh it was ridiculous! The things they would say, the way they would talk, their behavior, I mean everything was just extremely worldly. One guy asked another "where's your girlfriend?" and he responded "cheerleading" then the other guy said "you tap that?". Wow. Fail. At this point I was ready to slap someone.

You know when you have friends and they have friends that you don't really know but you want to hang out with your friends so suddenly you end up hanging out with these people? Well that happened to me yesterday. Not only did I have to spend two hours of my life with two boys who kept making sexual jokes and swearing and weren't all that great but I also had to sit next to about another 10 boys who were JUST like those other two. No. Excuse me, THEY WERE WORSE!!! They were super disrespectful to girls, the way they expressed themselves about them was just horrific. They were just all stupid teenage boys.

And this entire time I was thinking "Wow. I'm so glad _______ is not like this!"

So after the game my friend confronts me with this question. What do I say? And how do I make it 5 words or less? Well my first response was "He's-a-Christian" but I know lots of Christian boys who are not godly like he is. I wanted to use the word godly but my friends wouldn't particularly understand the meaning of that word. So what do I say??

I think I was tongue twisted. I couldn't possibly have given an answer in just 5 words!! Well I could have but it would have been a HUGE understatement! Sometimes we take things for granted and I feel like I take this boy and his feelings for me for granted.

See God is funny because this boy and I live completely different lives and our schedules are super different. So many times we'll go through periods of time when we won't talk much and I start letting my imagination run wild: "maybe he doesn't like me anymore" or "he just doesn't wanna talk to me". And it's like that part in The Avengers when Loki traps Thor and tells him "Are you ever not gonna fall for that??". It's just what God does to me, when we stop talking simply because our lives are busy and I start thinking it's because something is wrong is like God saying "Really?? Are you ever NOT gonna fall for that??"

I'm I ever going to trust God COMPLETELY when it comes to my relationship with this boy? Here I am being extremely blessed with someone who lives his life FOR CHRIST, who is not even dating me yet and already treats me like a princess, who is eager to talk to me and excited to spend time with me, who makes an effort to be a part of my life AND I'M COMPLAINING?!

Yesterday I truly realized how extremely blessed I am to have him in my life and to have inspired feelings towards me in his heart. It wasn't a coincidence that I had that experience with worldly boys the whole day and after the game this question pops up. God was trying to tell me something. Ok dude, message received :)

What makes him so special?? HIS.HEART.BELONGS.TO.CHRIST! What else can I ask for?? What else can I possibly say? He adores God and wants to give Him everything he has! He sees Christ and wants to be a reflection of Him. I pray that I am in God's plan for him and that he is in God's plan for me. I pray that someday we get married and have children, I pray that we are meant to be. BUT if we are not you can know two things for sure:

1) His future wife is an EXTREMELY lucky/blessed woman.
2) He has set the bar super high for my future husband. I have pretty high standards because of this boy.

Yeah, a little bit of a rant but I just needed to say how blessed I am. Man, God is so good :)

Divorce is NOT an option!!!

If there is anything in this world that I absolutely HATE with a burning passion that would be divorce. I'm warning you now, I'm going to be all over the place because this subject makes my blood boil. I love how people think it's even an option. It's not.

Ok let me explain, I come from divorced parents, I've seen people get divorced my entire life. Couples that I love and adore, just this year 3 couples that I just loved to pieces got divorced. Seriously? Really?!

Vows are EXTREMELY important. When you are at the altar you make a PROMISE, a promise to stay with that person no matter what. Who said promises were meant to be broken? Now a days people just go around marrying whoever. Do me a favor, don't marry the person YOU love most, marry the person God wants YOU to love the most. God will provide a man or woman for you, he will provide someone that will compliment you. People let their emotions get the best of them and after 5 or 20 or even 30 years together, they decide they no longer want to be together. Why? Why do we give up so easily? Why do we like winning so much yet when it comes to marriage we allow ourselves to loose? Marriage is a work in progress, it takes work to make it work. We fight so hard for so many things in our lives and yet when the time comes to fight for the person we once swore to love until the end of days we just...give up. As if giving up was an option.

People get married for the stupidest reasons and then they let other stupid reasons get in the way of the marriage. Be wise. Choose wisely, even better, let God show you who he chose for you.

Look I've grown up with divorce all around me, it keeps following me, it's challenging me, almost taunting me, it's telling me "you won't be able to do it, you won't make it either" BUT.THAT'S.A.ALIE!! Just because the people around you can't make it happen doesn't mean that YOU can't do it. I pray so much for my marriage, I pray for my future husband, I even write letters to him! I pray that God just shows me who he chose for me. And this you can know for a fact, I.will.fight! And I will win! I will NEVER forget my vows, I will not break that promise. In my marriage, just like in the rest of my life, God will reign! He will be King and head of the whole thing. My husband and I will have a godly marriage and we will grow in our faith together. I will dedicate my marriage to God because it really doesn't belong to me. Someday I'm going to meet a godly man and he will accept me and love me and he will love God with all his heart and we are going to get married. That union will be dedicated to the one who allowed for all of that to happen, the one who decided to bless me so much.

Why do people forget about love? Why can to people say they love each other and then after some years just "fall out of love"? If you want to say a word, first learn the meaning of it. Learn the meaning of love, of love between two people who were once strangers. Don't go around saying "I love you" to whoever you date.

I hate divorce. I despise it with all my heart. It was a trial in my life, yes it made me stronger and yes it was necessary for me to come to Christ and God (in his awesome wisdom) knew that it would bring me to him but no, I don't wish it upon ANYONE!! No child should go through what my siblings and I went through, it is destructive.

This was a little bit of a rant but I can't help it. It annoys me that people have made divorce an option now a days. Vows are words that our mouths say and promises that our hearts make. And no heart should make a promise in vain.

My heart belongs to Christ, when the time comes, he will gladly share it with my husband. And just like I fight my battles against the devil for Christ and for God in this world, I will fight my battles to keep the person God chose for me to love the most and with God's unending strength and undeserving help...I will win.

May all the glory go to the King.

It's ok to not be ok

If there's one thing I struggle with is "not being ok", showing people when I'm not ok. A couple of weeks ago I was feeling really stressed and anxious about starting school and usually I go to two of my best friends for prayer and they are always there but this wasn't always the case and it's still not always the case.

Before I became a christian a lot of times I would deal with my own problems myself, I was my own shoulder to cry on, my own best friend. I don't know, I just never really liked going to people with problems. I was raised with this idea that "you don't bother people", so telling people my problems is not always easy. I HATE not "being ok" because I know Im easy to read, I know my friends will see it and worry. But you know what...it's ok. God says to carry each other's burdens.

This is something that I have to get used to, sharing my problems with the godly people in my life that can HELP me is ok. Maybe you are like me and you just don't like to see others around you worry but God has put those people in your life to shine his light upon you. Let them help you! It's not easy, I know for me it's not easy but carrying each other's burdens is a privilege we take for granted sometimes. Relationships get refined through fired :)

Well this was a short post but I just wanted to get that out of my chest. Remember God loves you to the moon and back and three times as much as that. Smile!!