Picking up the pieces

Oh man I haven't blogged in like a month. I kinda miss it! Which is why I decided to blog today, I just don't know what to blog about. Well I guess I could blog about relationships since it has been kind of a recurring theme in my life lately. I don't mean just romantic relationships I mean all kind of relationships.

Friendships
Ok I've been stupid lately, I've met so many new and amazing friends that I've kind of forgotten about some of my old friends. I usually hang out with my church friends a lot and they make me extremely happy, but I forget that I have school friends who love me and who need me. One of my best friends confronted me about this not too long ago and it helped open my eyes about the way I was acting, she felt completely abandoned by me and I felt like a jerk because she was right. I never meant to hurt her but I was just caught up in my recent blessings. I want to show God's love to everyone and specially my unsaved friends, I needed to wake up and realize that I am divided into many different little groups of friends and they all need me in one way or another. I am so blessed to have so many loving friends in my life!! Don't be stupid like me, don't forget about certain friends just because there are others coming into your life. If there are friendships that you are willing to fight for and that can be fixed, fix them. As for me I am trying to shuffle all of my friendships and although it gets a little difficult at times, these are kids that are worth it :) Thank you God for blessing me with so many loving people.

Family
Oh yes.....family. Can you believe that it's harder for me to love my family than to love my friends?? I don't get it, I don't know what it is but it has been that way for a couple of years now. For a little background on my family, my parents are divorced and I live with 3 of my 4 siblings. Now something that I have been working on lately is sibling bonding and obedience. I've been trying to show my mom how much I love her by including her into my life a little bit more and by doing random nice things for her. Now I don't know if you have an awesome mom like mine or if you have a mom who's not so great but who said that to show love you have to be loved back?? I mean look at Christ!! Dude couldn't be more hated by all of us and he still died on that cross because he LOVED US!! John 3:16 clearly says "For God so LOVED the world....." Who cares if my family shows me the same love that I show them, the point is that I am showing it and by doing so I shine God's light (Matthew 5:16). Look it's not easy, it's not easy trying to bond with my siblings because I know how much of a jerk I was before I got saved, I'm trying to pick up the pieces of relationships that have been broken and that can be better if I just try a little. I'm not saying they are willing to put in the same effort, but without knowing it someday they will start acting just like me, at least that's what I hope for. I don't know why I find it so hard to love my family but I know that I am willing to try because these are the people that God chose for me and he knows what he's doing, he knows they need me and I need them. So do me a favor will you? Whether they "deserve" it or not, please do a random act of love for someone in your family today, you never know what could come out of that :)

Crushes, boyfriends and any other shenanigans
Haha. I got a little creative with that title :) Well if you are wondering, no, I do not have a boyfriend, but I do have a crush, a wonderful boy who is passionate for God and has become one of my absolute best friends. My favorite part about me and him is the fact that we can get together and talk for hours and hours without having "awkward" moments. Of course I worry and wonder about the "what ifs??", "what if he doesn't want to talk to me? what if Im bothering him? what if he doesn't miss me? I wonder if I crossed his mind" and yada yada yada, all that stuff that goes through a girl's head. Ok let me say that I am a teenager and I much as I would want to not think about that stuff....I CAN'T HELP IT!! lol. Do you ever watch a movie that you've already seen before and then there's a part coming up that you don't like or makes you cringe and you almost want to skip it but you can't cause you happen to be watching the movie with your friends and they really like that part? Well that's how I feel right now. haha. I wish I could skip this whole "having feelings for someone" thing and move on with my life but I can't. If you have a crush or a boyfriend and you are feeling a little like me....STOP! Take a breather and relax. Step back for a second, no matter how things are going with your crush be faithful, the only thing we will never run out of is hope. Stay calm, don't chase after a boy, chase after something that matters. Idk about you but I gave my heart to Christ, he's keeping it safe for my husband and God knows why he allowed these feelings to happen. Ok this boy is amazing, yeah he makes me mad sometimes and sometimes without realizing it he hurts me but I can't explain what I feel for him. So what if he does or doesn't have feelings for me? We have a wonderful friendship and that's what matters, the day that ends that's when my heart will be crushed! If you like someone WHO'S WORTH HAVING YOU BY HIS/HER SIDE then pursue a FRIENDSHIP! Don't go after someone's heart, go after the brightness they can bring into your life. Chase the light.

God
Ahh yes, I finally got to my favorite one. Before I begin....Heavenly Father, thank you for a new day, Holy Spirit please guide my thoughts and type these words for me. Amen. Ok we are all good now. Yep, I have to do this, why? Because out of every relationship in my life this one matters to me the most. I've been a christian for like a year and a half and my transformation has been AMAZING!! God went from being like a "whatever" thing in my life to being my EVERYTHING! Look if you are not saved then this message is for you: He loves you, he truly does love you, he loves you more than anyone else in this world, he loves you to the moon and back and three times as much as that, he loves you so much that he took the time to create a whole life story for you and to create trials so that you could learn from them to create good times so that you could laugh and have fun and joy. He loves you so much that he forgave you and gave you life through Christ, but it is YOUR choice! Heck Im almost 18, after that my parents can't tell me what to do anymore, God can't force you to love him, that's a choice only YOU can make! You can listen to the lies the world tells you or you can search within your heart for the truth!! God said "let there be light", I promise you that the light inside of you will let you know that he is real and that Christ is real and I dare you to look for it. I dare you to look into the mirror and tell me that your life without God is better than my life with him, go ahead try it....I tried it and I failed. You are his beautiful, beloved child :) If you are saved then I am so happy for you my dear brother or sister. I am so happy because like me you were lucky enough to hear the gospel from someone who loves you, someone who cares about you so much that they wanted to see you in heaven but now I want to challenge you and encourage you to be that person for someone else. Don't you dare shut up about the gospel (Romans 1:16), don't you dare conform to this world (Romans 12:2), if you do that the devil wins, if you do that you give him a victory in a battle from a war that he is sure to loose. Look guys, God is my everything because I know that Christ is REAL! I love him because he opened my eyes to what my life can be like if I let him lead me, I love him because he died on the cross so that I don't have to suffer eternally, I love him because every time I look to the sky and smile I know he's looking back and smiling as well, I love him because he picked up the pieces of the selfish, bitter, lying and ungrateful human being that I was and put them together, not only did he put them together but he also polished them, he told me that I was more than that, I was made for more than that.

Let me put it this way: you and I, we are nothing more than just filthy rags but some people think that those rags are just not filthy enough and so they cover them in mud, and when I say cover I mean completely cover them with mud (lies, hurt, betrayal, mean words, mean actions, profanity, etc). We are now covered in all this mud and we feel even more filthy than before. The good thing about that is that Christ is the only person who knows how to wash away all that mud and make those rags all better again :) I'm not telling you accepting salvation will be easy because I don't know that for sure but I am telling you to give it a try because all that mud surrounding you right now, you won't be able to get over that on your own. Trust me, I tried and failed.

Wow.....Ok that was a lot. A little bit of a rant too, well I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did :)