God IS Love

So, my mind is really weird. It seems to move faster than I would like but it doesn't make much sense. This topic came to me as I was writing my exit essay for my Philosophy of Religion final.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God IS love" 1 John 4:8

Do you get that? God is the very essence of love. He is the very definition of love.

What is God? Love. And what is love? God.

See, human logic does not get this. To us, love is a mere feeling. To us, love is like anger or sadness or rage. To psychology, love is just a collision of chemicals in the brain. In human terms, love comes and goes. It's the butterflies in the stomach, it's a mother's cry for her child, a father's 12 hour shift at work for his children. To us, that is love.

Sorry to disappoint, but that is not love.

Those are wonderful manifestations of love, a reaction of love. Because it is true, love is what you do, but better yet...

Love is God. Love is holy, love is light, love is a consuming fire. These are all things that God is.

I think this concept is about to change my life. See, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I buy into the "I will never leave you Jack" kind of love that Hollywood shows us (No, The Notebook and The Titanic are NOT my favorite chick flicks, I'm a little more original than that). And even though it is absolutely delightful to see Richard Gere climb up the stairs for Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, love is much more sacrificial than that.

Love is deeper. It is the very essence of everything that makes this world go around. It is a concept so outside of this world that only God can comprehend it, because only God is the true essence of love. And He, in all His grace, allows us to have a reaction to His love, by allowing us to "feel" love. 

Love cannot be felt, because it is more than a feeling. It can only be experienced. But here's the trick, God can be both felt AND experienced. Once you have God, you have love.

You know that phrase "love is all you need"?? I get it now. Because God is all I need. He is the very essence of my deepest desire, to love and to be loved. He is the butterflies in my stomach when I look into the eyes of a certain boy. He is the bus ride I take to see my best friend every time she says she's feeling down. He is the dishes I wash because mom is too tired to wash them. He is the courage I need when I want to tell someone about Christ. He is love. Not a feeling. A constant. An essence. A substance. A tangible impossibility that can only be possible if you understand that a perfect creator must be out there somewhere. 

I love people in my life, but the only reason why I love them is because God loved me, because by showing me what love is He showed me who He is. Do you ever do that? Do you ever tell a friend about a movie you really like? Or a book? Or do you ever send them lyrics to a song that utterly describes you? You're giving them a little insight of who you are, a little glimpse of what you truly are like. Well, that's how God works. He reveals himself in the little everyday things. But we would rather deny existence of "love" because we've experienced heartbreak several times in our lives than admit that it is out there somewhere and we are capable of obtaining it if we just let go of the fears and break down our walls.  

Love is the very definition of God, it is the fingerprint of our Creator. God is a man tortured and hanging on a cross because He can not bear the thought of seeing His creation doomed. God is love, the timeless definition for the craving of every one of us that was made in the image of God. And He loves us, His love is better than anything. And I finally understand why.

Because it is not a reaction, it is the action. His love is holy, pure, His love will never hurt me, will never damage me, will never contaminate me, will never leave me. His love is light, His love guides me, it shines on me, it is with me everywhere I go, His love can not be overcome by the darkness. His love is a consuming fire. A constant, consuming fire that burns fiercely and quickly. It should devour every part of me and consume every sin within me. That is love. Wow!!


The natural reaction of love is human, fleeting and flawed. Love in itself....well, that's God.

God is Sovereign

Yep. This is going to be random, short and quite lame but I've been reflecting on this for a little while now.

If you are a devoted Christian, there will be many moments of confrontation between your dreams and God's will, and God will eventually confront you with his sovereignty. There will be a conflict between your will and God's sovereignty. Your faith will be the mediator in that conflict. The quantity of your faith but most importantly, the quality of your faith. At the end of the conflict there can only be two outcomes, submission or rejection. It is your faith that will determine which one you're going to follow.
Only true, deep, blind, audacious faith will understand that through submission you will never be disappointed. That although your dreams may look differently, your heart will always be satisfied. But rejection will bring momentary happiness and long-lasting affliction.
Having unshakable faith in the invisible God will make possible what is visible and what is invisible.
The King will ALWAYS reign. So just follow.
Dreamers have the capacity of being the most faithful believers.

God bless :)

What Hurts the Most: Part 3 - Break Ups

Oh yeah, I've been there, in fact I AM there. I have officially now been in both positions, I have broken up with someone and someone has broken up with me.

When I first began this little series, I knew I wanted to talk about this but I didn't really know how to go about it, I am currently going through a break up right now so I can finally blog about this. It did take me a while to put my thoughts together but I think I'm ready to talk about it now, so here we go :)

First things first, I want to talk about heart break, but I want to make it very clear that there are a trillion and one things that can break your heart, I only want to focus on heartbreak in the romantic sense right now. I'm going to say why break ups suck and how you can deal with them a little better.

Man, break ups SUCK!! Like they really suck! You go from constantly talking to this person and hanging out with this person to just....a friendly hello, or a look every once in a while, or just....nothing. I think personally the hardest part for me is that if that person is your best friend, then you're losing a best friend, that sucks.

Break ups, separations, divorces, they are all difficult, especially if you're a woman. Psychologically, women are more prone to take the blame for a screw up in the relationship so when these things happen, we tend to over analyze and say "what did I do wrong?", we start thinking of all the things we could have done differently to save things, to fix it, we start to ponder about the "what ifs", we take the blame 100% of the time without realizing that a relationship takes TWO people. No matter what gender you are, you begin to remember all the words that were said once, all the promises that are now broken, all the dreams that are now lost. You begin to associate that person with places and memories, for example: you're at a restaurant with your friends and you start to remember that one time when you and your significant other went there together and all the fun you had and all of a sudden now you're down and you just want to go home. You start to miss that person like CRAZY! And the moment when it really hits you that they don't miss you...well, that's when the tears come. These are just a few reasons why break ups suck.

Being in a relationship is difficult and it is very risky, you are always at risk of heartbreak, no matter how well or how long you've known that person. You are putting yourself in a position of vulnerability. That's a reality that everyone should always remember, not because it will make things any easier, because trust me, it doesn't, but keeping that in mind will help you be a little more careful about the people that you date. The way I see it, you should always ask yourself this: if this person woke up tomorrow and broke my heart and forgot all about me, would I regret this relationship?

See, I just got my heart broken, and it was not cool, it hurt, A LOT, but one thing that I have learned from my mother is that a lot of suffering in life comes from the consequences of our actions. Another thing I learned from a wise woman at my church is that in life, it is always about the choices we make. I made the choice to go through with this relationship, I made the choice to trust this boy with my heart, for whatever reason I made the choice to get close to him and I can honestly say I do not regret a single moment of it, I don't regret a single second of that relationship because the person that I was with made me extremely happy at some point. Heart break can either strengthen you or destroy you, in this case, the way I see it, if the relationship was worth it, then it will strengthen you, you'll be able to look back and smile and learn from the experience and thank God for the blessing that it was. If the relationship was not worth it, then you'll be destroyed because you won't have anything from that to bring you joy.

Yes, that person made me EXTREMELY happy, and yes, that person is making me very sad right now, he has changed with me in a matter of weeks and that can be confusing, frustrating, annoying but above all, painful. I like to apply a simple concept to all of my relationships with people and I think it should be applied during break ups as well: people change, memories don't. I don't know who this guy will turn out to be in the future or who he is changing to be now but I know who he was and how he was during the relationship. He was kind, caring, sweet, funny, he was my best friend, my partner in faith, he was wonderful, I could go on and on about how incredible he is. I can only thank God for what we had and how he treated me, I was a queen in his eyes, and rather than sit here and feel sorry for myself because I no longer have that, I'd rather very much thank God and praise God because I had the privilege of having that!

Whatever you do, DO NOT pity yourself. Try to be logical and rational. If you want to deal with things better then distract yourself, get some alone time, after being in a relationship for a while you need some solitude to figure out who you are and especially who is the kind of man or woman that you want to be with someday. Go out, have fun, be social, stay active. If it hurts you too much to look at old pictures, letters, messages, etc., then don't do it, save it for when you're ready, save it for when you can look at it and smile about it. No matter how much of a jerk that person is to you, if that person is someone who once made you happy, value them, just because your opinion about them has changed it doesn't mean that their value has changed also. Do not beg, seriously, let that person go, give them time, have patience, God is taking this and teaching me about patience, about letting go and letting God do everything in His time and not my time. God is working, I know it, I just have to wait on Him. But I'll warn you, it might take years, so be ready for that. If you think that this is the ultimate end between you and that person, then make sure that there are no words left unsaid and that they don't move on and start calling you "my crazy ex", but if you're like me, if you still have hope, then just be you, don't try to be a "better you", don't try to change yourself, be yourself. I'm not saying you can't make improvements, you can and you should, that's what wisdom is all about, but at the core, be whoever you want to be, whoever you think you are, let them slowly notice that you're improving, don't shove it down their throats.

Last but not least, trust God. It is so hard to be at peace when you can't see the bigger picture, all you can see is the tears falling and all you can feel is your heart broken, but God has a plan. I know this is God's timing, with how recent the break up is and how much I adore the person I was with I should be laying on my couch eating 5 tubs of strawberry ice cream every day, watching my favorite chick flick and crying my eyes out, but I'm not. The only reason why I'm not is because I can tell that this is God, this is from God, I prayed about this and this is His timing. Yes it hurts, but yes, my God has given me SO much joy! I remain hopeful, hope is always alive, it is never lost or gone. Until God gives me an ultimate no, this remains as a "not yet sweetie, wait on me". I thank Him everyday for my past relationship, I thank Him for his timing and even for the pain, I am learning a lot of important life lessons. God is teaching me about what it means to be Himself, what it means to be like Christ and especially, what and who I am. It is thanks to this pain and disappointment that I am learning to listen to that still small voice, I am recognizing how the Holy Spirit talks to me.

Christian or not, life gets a lot easier when you change the focus from how people treat you to how you treat people, apply that when it comes to your ex. Hurting someone just for the sake of getting back at them because they once hurt you will only leave you worse off than you were before. Forgive and forget, everyday you live is a gift, don't waste on useless grudges. Always remember that sorrow can be God's greatest ally, it can be that one thing that draws your attention to Him, mending broken hearts is one of God's favorites hobbies.

There is a time and a place for everyone and everything in your life, some people will cross your path and be a lesson, some will remain a mystery and some...well, some are waiting for you to discover their meaning :)

God bless

1 Peter 5:7

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

A lot of things have been going on in my life lately, lots of changes. Everything with my ministry (Rise Above It Missions) is going so well that it makes me wonder where this is going and where God is gonna take it and if I will be even strong enough to keep going with this. I'm about to start college which is kind of scary I guess, a lot of my friends are going away so it does make me think about the relationships that will end with that. Anyways, I've been thinking about a lot of things. There are 2 verses that have really jumped out at me during this time, I will blog about this one first and the second one is for another topic.

Please know that these are just my thoughts and my interpretations, none of this is like legit or anything. 

When I think about this verse I think about what it really means to cast ALL of my anxiety on Christ. I mean like ALL of it. In the bible, many times God says to trust him, to not worry about anything. But I am such an impatient person that if I don't see answers or results right away I start to worry about things. One of the things that God has been teaching me is not to worry. When I think about this verse I think about it in a metaphorical way. 

Imagine that you have a pile of bricks, right next to it there's a wheelbarrow and you are welcome to use it as often as you need to. Now you have to move that pile of bricks from one end of the room to the other end. You have two choices, you can either carry them all in your hands, or you can use the wheelbarrow. If you have too many bricks to carry with your own hands they will be too heavy and you won't be able to pick them up, you might be able to, some of us are stronger than others, but you would have to go slow and take your time, you can also carry as many as you can but then you would have to make more trips than if you used the wheelbarrow. If you use the wheelbarrow, you'll be able to put as many bricks as it can carry and you'll go a little faster and make less trips. Christ is your wheelbarrow, when life throws too many bricks at you, too many struggles and things that cause you to be worried and anxious, He is there waiting for you to just lay it all on Him. You wanna know why? Because casting those things on Christ allows you to keep going with life, it makes life a little bit easier. Life is hard enough, sometimes God commands you to do things so that you don't make life harder for yourself. 

But here's the catch to my analogy. You know what you can't do? You can't try to put some bricks on the wheelbarrow and carry some bricks in your own hands. A) It is not effective and B) it is completely ridiculous. To me this verse is difficult because it's very much based on an "all or nothing" system. Cast ALL of your anxiety on Him, not just some of them. I'm not saying don't do anything either, I'm not saying that if you're worried about being unemployed  you should just sit there and let God worry about it without doing nothing. No, you do your part and apply for a job, but let God worry about what will happen after you apply. Do your thing and move your feet but give up to God things that are beyond your control. He does not want us to be carrying half the pile of bricks in one hand and the other hand in the wheelbarrow. He desires for us to trust in Him and put the entire pile of bricks on Christ. That give us both hands to drag the wheelbarrow, when I think of it that way, both of my hands are free, if I ever get tired of dragging the wheelbarrow, if I ever get discouraged or my faith in Christ weakens, I can take my hands off the wheelbarrow and do whatever I want with them, I can put them together to pray, all of my anxieties are still on Christ but prayer will allow me to strengthen my faith.

But the absolute most important part of this verse is the second part. Is the answer to the question. Why? Why is the wheelbarrow there in the first place? Why does God choose to operate in this "all or nothing" system when it comes to this verse? Because he cares for you. Wow, that's huge. Let me get this straight, the God of the universe, wants me to not worry about the big or petty things of life BECAUSE HE LOVES ME?!?! SAY WHAT NOW?!?! Not only did he take human form and sent His son to die for my sins, but He also now wants me to not worry about ANYTHING and trust Him with EVERYTHING. That's the part about this that blows my mind.

So those are my thoughts on this verse. To me this verse is on God's little "TO DO" list for us, I like to believe that sometimes when God commands us to do something is not for His benefit but for ours. Sometimes God wants us to not rely on who we are, but to sit and wait for Him to reveal what He's made of. 

I'M A MOM!!! :D

No no I'm playing, I'm just kidding :) Did you actually believe that? Wow, I must be getting good at this whole lying thing. lol JUST KIDDING!!!

Ok but the real point of this is that yes, I'm a mom, I'm going to talk about my child....Rise Above It Missions. I call it my baby :) because it is, Weebly even gave us a birth certificate. It's legit.

I don't think I've really expressed what this ministry means to me or what is doing in my life so I want to talk about it now.

Rise Above It began with my best friend and I just doing random acts of kindness for people, she introduced me to different ways of encouraging people and I just picked up on them. The more we did, the more greedy we got, we just wanted to do more and bigger! So, being the genius that she is, my friend came up with the idea of setting up this ministry. We noticed how many people on tumblr were hurting and cutting so she began doing her part by messaging people there, just encouraging them. Then she came to me with the idea of setting up an email. Sometime in December, I believe, we launched the email account. January 2nd of this year we got together and launched the website and the facebook page and a couple of weeks ago we launched the twitter. Everything has been moving pretty fast, and pretty slow at the same time. At the moment it is mostly an online ministry helping teenagers who are facing depression, self harm and eating disorders.

I knew I liked helping people, but my gosh this girl, my ministry partner, her heart for helping others is SO HUGE! She's so selfless! She will do anything to be there for people! I admire that so much and I'm hoping to mirror that someday. When everything with Rise Above It started I was very excited! I loved the idea! Then for a while I got really lazy about it, I let so many other things get in the way of my work for this, I'll admit my heart wasn't always passionate for it.

Then something changed. We got news that this girl that my friend was helping (not through RAIM) had attempted suicide and was in the hospital. Whoa...that shook me so much. That night I didn't even know what to say or think, all I wanted was to do something with RAIM, get back at it, post something, DO something!! God really woke me up that night and I kept thinking about a certain verse in Ephesians that a pastor from my church had preached on earlier in the year, Ephesians 5: 14 "This is why it is said: 'Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.'"

It was as if God himself was literally shaking my body and yelling at me "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!", he was waiting for me, for my partner and I, to wake up, get up, and be the arms and feet of Christ. You see I believe God has huge plans with this ministry, this is His', but he needs us to carry it out. Ok God, point taken. 

After that night I began to put my full effort into this, everyday my partner and I have been working on it and we got into the habit of praying for RAIM everytime we got together, the moment the happened...God answered our prayers, RAIM started growing and growing and getting bigger and holy cow, it's just awesome, God's power is awesome! 

I call this ministry my baby because it is much like a child. I didn't really realize how much responsibility this took, I mean we are not only saying "Oh Devil, me! Pick me! Pick me! Attack me!" but we are also vulnerable to attachment and loss, what if one of the kids we help does go through with their plans of committing suicide? What if they do die? It's a huge load to take on. Much like a kid, you have to be constantly paying attention to it and caring for its needs. We are constantly talking to our followers and updatting the website and the facebook page and such.

RAIM has made me realize that I am part of something so much bigger than I am, it really shows to me that God's plans for me are so different from the ones I make. When I became a Christian, I never imagined that I would get involved with something like this, I didn't know how much God was planning on using me. I am in awe, honestly I love this ministry and I will fight for it until the end. The satisfaction I get when people tell us that our words of encouragement helped them is priceless, nothing makes me happier. I pray that God shines His light in the lives of these people and that many may hear the gospel through us, that they may see Christ through us. Part of the responsibility of this ministry has been entitled to me, why? I have no idea! But I will do what God is asking of me.

I love Rise Above It Missions and I will cherish it, protect it, help it grow and take care of it until God tells me to let it go, to move on.

P.S Check out our website at riseaboveitmissions.weebly.com

God bless!!

One more thing: if God is calling you to do something....just do it.

We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together

Yes the rumors are true, I had a fling with depression a few years ago, and it was real, it was solid, we were going steady but I realized something, depression was a selfish jerk! So I said to it "depression you're a selfish jerk, and guess what? I met someone else. He's Jewish, he has 3 nails inside of him and he is everything I deserve in life! I'm happy now, depression, without you. It's over!! (If you didn't get that reference then you need to rethink your life choices.)

But enough with the funny stuff, see I'm trying to be funny and be happy because.....because I'm scared. I'm at a weird point in my life, I'm moving on to college (which means I have to worry about paying for college) and I'm in a real relationship with someone and all of a sudden I'm responsible for a ministry and there's just a lot going on. And I'm scared. I'm scared because I know me, I'm strange and when hard things come my way, it's almost as if I didn't allow myself to suffer. I know hard things are going to come my way, I can feel it, but I'm scared of masking it all again, of not letting myself...break I guess, or at least bend, because that's how I will end up in depression again. Slowly but surely my smile will start to fade only because I won't let myself show the world that I can be vulnerable.

But it's surely making its way into my heart already, I've been feeling so...worthless. The main reason for that is that I feel too dumb, I feel like God is talking but I'm not listening, I feel like a failure in many aspects of my life right now, I just keep making mistakes in my relationship with friends, family and my boyfriend, and the sin that entangles me (at the moment jealousy) is once again creeping in and it's difficult to fight it back. I keep comparing myself to others, especially to other girls around me, saying things like "she's better than me, she's a better christian, she's beautiful, she's so virtous" etc, etc. I'm worn. I'm tired. I feel so...pathetic. And I'm scared because I'm a natural born quitter. I know that this is how I fell last time this happened...

BUT

I like wars, I like battles. And I know that right now I'm fighting a spiritual battle. Right now the devil is throwing all kinds of things at me so I will be discouraged. If I fall into depression now, I won't want to help people, I'll be whiny and worry only about myself, I'll forget fighting my sin, screw it, what's the point anyways right? You see I know I'm weak, I know I can easily fall into that, lets face it, there's a lot of "love yourself" work that I still need to do. But I also know my identity, I know who goes before me, I know my God, my Christ is strong. So now that depression is requesting to get back together I must say, we are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together. Like...EVER. I have a God who loves me.

Right now I'm being fooled, I'm choosing to listen to all of the devil's lies about me. The reality is that I'm not worthless, I'm not stupid or less of a Christian for not being able to listen to God, he says to seek Him and I will find Him, He doesn't say when or how I will find Him, his command is to seek Him. I will keep seeking.

My mistakes do not define me, I'm struggling with that A LOT. Whatever I am, God is still molding me, He's still working in me, I'm not perfect and I will never be and I can guarantee that I will make mistakes, heck I might even make the same mistakes over and over and over again, I know myself, I know how appetizing sin can be, but I know that I love God and despise my sin, I will keep going, I may fall and stumble with the same rock over and over again but with God's help I will get back up again, because my God does not measure his love for me by the number of times I fall or rise, I am not limited by any of that. And it is so comforting to know that I am loved and accepted by a perfect and loving God and that I don't have to be seduced by the claws of depression.

I'm unique, I don't have to compare myself with anyone. You know how when you go to the store, you have two of the same products but one is maybe a little pricier than the other so you start to compare prices and wonder about the quality of each one. Yeah? Well human beings don't work like that. I keep forgetting that. I keep comparing my quality to that of other girls, why? I was not made to be compared, I'm only going to be the best or worst version of me there will ever be, I'm exclusive, special edition! There will never be another me, there may be millions like me, but not another me!

Right now I'm frustrated, not with life, but with myself. There's no message of hope there, just a reality, but let me say this, something I've been trying to learn lately.

Beating yourself up for your mistakes is going to leave you bruised, broken and stuck. If you want to feel human, then make a mistake, they are a part of us, a part of you. They come with lessons. Yes, I've been messing up more than usual lately, so what now? It's time to pick up the pieces, I've learned from my boyfriend that you live and you learn. 

Mistakes that don't come with lessons are not mistakes, but just like in school it is your choice to pick up on the lesson or not. Wisdom is a choice and depression is a selfish ally. 

In honor of the most inspiring girl I've ever met

As you can tell I like to inspire people, but a lot of people inspire me as well. This week I have been blessed with doing a lot of work for my ministry, you can read more about it here,

And you can check out our website at riseaboveitmissions.weebly.com :) You can also follow us on twitter @RAIMissions and like our facebook page at www.facebook,com/RiseAboveItMissions

Anyways, not for the REAL subject of this post. A year and 7 months ago I met the most fascinating girl I've ever met, somehow this girl became my best friend and she is now my ministry partner. She fascinates me because nothing stops her, her she's a fighter, she's a competitor, she likes to get ahead in life, but not by stumbling over people, she likes to get ahead by facing her struggles up front and overcoming them.

I'm talking about Princess Faith. She has been through so much, not only has she struggled with her self image, her self confidence and coming out of her shell, but she has also had to go through the separation of her family due to the fact that they were homeless for a year, a fake accusation of child abuse, sickness and more recently the separation of her parents. Somehow she is not bitter, somehow she still loves God and she's still one of the sweetest people I know.

She amazes me because through it all she still has a heart for helping others, she still wants to be a light in the life of others. I think the world doesn't know how amazing she is, and tonight I want to honor her by truly expressing how much she means to me.

I have been blessed with the title of "ministry partner", you see Faith is blessed to have many Christian friends, many Christians best friends, she has known all of those people her entire life (literally) and yet she chose me, ME! To be her ministry partner, I met this girl just a year ago!! It's crazy! To this day I don't understand why she chose me, because I can be so selfish and so lazy at times and her heart for helping others is so much greater than mine. She has so many wonderful things to say and so many encouraging words and she's good at keeping up with the people that she helps. I'm so bad at all of that! And I'm not worthy of being her ministry partner. Because I'm strange, when I go through struggles I just look at the silver linings and everything just seems so easy for me, because I try to find the joy in it, I concentrate on how this will make me stronger and not the fact that this is hurting. My heart is fulfilled by my God and that's why when things happen to me now, I go into shock, but it takes more than a few words to shake me. But she knows about pain, she knows about hurting so much more than I do, and when someone she knows is hurting, she hurts with them. I can't do that, I can be totally sympathetic but I can't feel the pain that they feel. She does. She's wonderful because all she wants is to take away that person's pains and problems. She is incredible, and she loves to work out, which is the best picture of who she is: she will endure the pain as long as it means that she's getting stronger. That's who she is. A fighter.

I have seen her go through the worst days of her life and right after those days happen the first thing she does is seek how to help someone. She'll message people on tumblr, she'll help people on twitter, she'll blog about it, text someone something encouraging, ANYTHING to make someone feel better. And THAT gives her so much joy!! And it amazes me how quickly she can bounce back from any situation. I am not worthy to be her best friend, I am not worthy to be the one that she wants to share this ministry with, and yet, God has shown me His grace through her eyes, through her life. The more I learn about her, the more I realize that she is a force to be reckoned with, someone I could never match up to.

So many people look down on her, they underestimate her because she tends to be shy, they don't look closely at her talents, at her heart, so they just think she's just....Faith. She's just the girl that likes to make everyone's day and she's wonderful, she's great at that, she's the bomb.com, etc ect. No my friends, she is so much greater than that. She is the girl that loves God so much, that her way of honoring Him, of shining His light, of being in His presence IS being THE light....UNCONDITIONALLY!!! No matter how she feels, no matter what's going on, no matter what mood she's in, she will put others first. And she keeps trying and trying to let go of her fears, to listen to God. No she's not perfect, no she doesn't always gets it right but she ALWAYS TRIES! And to me, that's all that matters.

She's a champion, not a winner, a champion. She may not always win her battles, but she always trains herself to be ready for them. It's not about how many times she has overcome her struggles, to me, it's all about how she has used those struggles to her benefit and the benefit of those she tries to help.

Wow. Never in my life did I ever think I would be this blessed by God, No matter where we go in life, no matter where our friendship goes and even if tomorrow she decides to wake up and hate me for the rest of my life...she will remain to be the most selfless person I have ever met, and by far one of the toughest fighters.

Dear Faith,

All I can say is thank you. I truly love you to the moon and back. May the force be with you. Always.

Sincerely,

Your loving and unworthy friend.

The End of an Era

Today marks the end of an era......and what a beautiful era it was!!!! Today was my official last day of high school EVER!!! And honestly, I am emotionally drained. I took my AP Psych final while crying and all I did all day was cry, stop crying, cry again.

The school that I attend right now was my dream school, ever since I was in 7th grade I wanted to go there, when mom would drive by that school I would be mesmerized and I could see myself there, I wanted to see myself there. When the time came, I was supposed to go to another school, and I was ok with that, but God kind of likes to do this thing where he'll tease me to see if I'll trust Him and after that, He'll usually give me what my heart desires. Without me knowing me, He was testing me, He was beginning to prepare me for what was coming.

You see it was in high school that I made the most important decision of my entire life, it was my sophomore year of high school that I decided that I wanted to follow Christ.

Many kids go to my school and they make a name for themselves for doing sports, or being in the plays, the musical, being in orchestra or choir or band, for being in the art program or for being one of those super smart kids, maybe they join an ethnic club so they dance with that club and that's how they're known, and although I did participate in many of those activities, that's not the name I made for myself. Somehow, I managed to make myself known for being a Christian, when people think of me they usually think of religion or Christ or the bible, I didn't know that could happen, I didn't know God could use me to do that. You see I'm going to miss my high school, THAT building, because it was there, at a public school, that God (somehow) brought me to Him. I think about that and it blows my mind to see how huge God's plan was for me, and how my plans were NOTHING compared to what He had in mind for me. That's why He wanted me there, because I belonged there! Because He needed me there.

I'm going to miss my friends, I don't know what it's going to be like to not see all these familiar faces in the hallways, or to not be in a class with a close friend. During high school, I have met some of the most incredible people ever, I have so many memories and so many great moments that will go with me wherever I go. I have made many friends during these 4 years and now we are all going to be scattered everywhere, and now it's time for these bonds to prove how strong they are. I know I'm going to grow apart from some people, some people will leave my life and some will come in, but these 4 years that I've shared with these people will never leave my memory. People may change but memories don't, and that's one of the most beautiful things in life, that blows my mind and I thank God for designing it that way.

I'm going to miss my teachers, during those 4 years I seriously had some of the greatest teachers, just today my division (or advisory) teacher got us a cake to celebrate that we were moving on! I had some cool teachers and some strict teachers, and those teachers that you can see yourself hanging out with, I had some teachers whose advice can still get me through life at times, I had extremely smart teachers and extremely annoying teachers but never in my 4 years of high school have I appreciated the education they have given me more than today, never have I loved each and every single one of them more than I do today. People say this and that about public school and I know that I myself have complained about them, but in all honesty, you find some of the most caring teachers in the world in public school. My teachers have encouraged me to go to tutoring, to seek help, they have helped me pass classes, they have helped me get to college and most of all, they have allowed me to share my beliefs in class and that, that is the greatest thing my teachers have done for me.

I'm going to miss everything about high school but I want to leave you guys with a few things that I have learned in high school, things that I have been learning since my freshman year up until this very last day. Here we go:

Enjoy EVERY SINGLE DAY because time flies.

4 years is too short, make friends and find people who will love you for you.

Don't try to fit in, don't loose yourself for the sake of finding others.

At the end of the day, you'll realize that you really truly do love these people.

Boyfriends and crushes?? Really not that important, I know, I had a mega crush on this mega handsome kid for 2 years and he barely talked to me and today, compared to everything else that happened in high school, it's not that important. Date all you want but never forget that boys should never be your priority in high school. Enjoy time with your friends.

Complain about homework and school all you want! Seriously, homework is annoying. But appreciate the fact that at least you're getting an education

And above all, please please please......to thine own self be true. You could go many different ways in high school, never compromise your convictions and always have a solid ground, your words should always match your actions.

I pray that during your high school years God will lead many of you to Him the way he led me.

I don't know what God has in store for me now that I'm going to college but I can guarantee one thing: whatever I have in mind for myself is nothing compared to what God wants to do with me in college. Yes, I'm terrified, yes, I hate change, but it is time to move on, it's time for me to spread the gospel somewhere else, for me to meet new people, to make new friends and new memories. I am extremely sad to be moving on but I'm excited to see where God wants to take me.

Lets see where God goes with this :) I'm graduating on Tuesday, after that....it's college time!!! Lets do this!

Fat you say? Oh sorry, I didn't see it, it must have been hiding under all my beauty!

Here's the thing, self-image is something that girls struggle with. Period. You can deny it, you can shove it aside, you can pretend like it's not there but it's there. I have struggled with it ever since I started puberty and although it has gotten better, the struggle is still there.

Right now, my entire family is on a diet, they're all on a health kick and everyone is pushing me to join them. Why? "You're too short to be that fat", "look at your belly", "you're not healthy", blah blah blah. Don't you just wish sometimes that you had a little power switch so that you could tune out all of that stuff? But like, legit tune it out. All those comments have been making me insecure lately, they're drawing me back to a place where I don't want to go, a place called depression. The last time that I seriously struggled with my self image I lost myself, I became this person that people wanted of me, I wanted to please everyone.

Here's a little tip: DO NOT try to please EVERYONE! It's impossible!! If I tried to please my family then sure, I would be on a diet and shedding pounds, but then what about me? What happens when I fail one week? Then I would be stuck thinking of myself as a loser. When we encounter failure and it has to do with our self image, the negative takes over the positive, and if you're like me, then when you are doing things for the sake of others, you won't be motivated to do it for yourself so you'll just quit. I don't want to work out or eat healthy cause people tell me to, I want to do it FOR ME! I love running, I used to do it often actually, and if I ever have that desire again then I will do it, but I want to make sure it comes out of me. You see this world has this idea of beauty, the "thin" ideal, and I don't know whose idea was it to come up with that but I know of a guy who can prove this ideal wrong.

Fernando Botero is a Colombian artist who has been doing paintings and sculptures for many years. His work is displayed around the main cities of Colombia and I can honestly say (since I am an eye witness) that it is unlike any other, take a look:

This man has dedicated his entire life to drawing FAT people, especially NAKED fat people. He mostly draws fat naked women and there are many sculptures of the kind around the world, but he has expanded to fat everything, fat men, fat animals, fat babies, fat fat fat. I don't know about you, but his work is beautiful, in my eyes, that's so beautiful. Society teaches us that there's this ONE ideal way to be, that's not true, Botero has proved that all over the world. You don't have to be thin to be beautiful, you don't have to be huge either, you are beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Since when is fat a bad thing? Since when is that not beautiful? If there was really only one ideal way to be beautiful, then wouldn't we all be the same way? The only person that has the power to define beauty for you is yourself!!! Some of you may look at these pictures and laugh your heads off or think it's completely weird but to me, it is beautiful. The bible says that God "has made everything beautiful in its time" and the reality is that beauty is not something that may or may not exist in everyone, it IS in everyone. 

I struggle with my physical beauty a lot and that's why I love encouraging girls to feel beautiful. You see I know that I am beautiful, but I don't always feel beautiful. I have been blessed to have an incredible young man by my side who doesn't let a day go by without telling me how gorgeous I am, hearing those words from a boy may help at times, but it does not determine my perspective on my beauty, on the days that I don't feel beautiful it's hard to believe him when he says that. So now what? Where do you go from there? Let me help you out a bit.

First things first, you need to come to the point of KNOWING that you ARE beautiful!! God has shown me that, He says it in His word that I am beautiful and loved and special. Something that has helped me lately is looking in the mirror and concentrating on one part of my body and first looking at my imperfections and then overlooking those to concentrate on the beauty of it. For example, my hands, I have really small hands and they are constantly dry so I have a ton of lines everywhere and I have these small dark hairs on my finders and my ring finger has this weird bump on it from me resting the pencil there when I write and my right hand has two scars and like 3 birth marks. But I have beautiful nails that are really strong and my pinkies are adorable because they're so tiny! My eyebrows are really bushy and I have a fuzzy forehead but my eyes are really beautiful and my smile is beautiful as well. It's all about learning to love yourself little by little, piece by piece. 

Once you've learned and understood that you ARE beautiful, you have to fight the daily battle of feeling beautiful. There are days when I look at myself and I see nothing beautiful, I hate pictures of myself because I never look good in any of them, I don't feel like I'm beautiful in any of them. So how do you achieve feeling beautiful? You accept your beauty no matter what you look like. Sweaty? Still beautiful. In sweat pants? Beautiful. Hair a mess? Beautiful. Greasy hair? Beautiful. A couple of pounds over? Beautiful. A couple of pounds under? Beautiful. Beautiful beautiful beautiful. Accept that reality and it will be easier for you to notice your beauty. And if people tell you otherwise, remember that they are blinded by what the media feeds us. A year ago every magazine was going crazy about Kim Kardashian, now that she's pregnant she's criticized for being "too fat", criticized by the same magazines that were saying how gorgeous she looks in a bikini. Just think about that.

This past week I found out that only 4% of women describe themselves as beautiful. That's sad, that's pathetic, and the worst part is that it's not our fault. We are taught that beauty is this and beauty is that and no one lets us define beauty on our own. You see I AM beautiful, do some people call me fat? Yes, do I have fat in me? Of course, more than I should, is that my identity? No. Never. You see I'm not fat, I'm beautiful. I'm I defined by how hairy my forehead is? No, I'm still beautiful. I am imperfect, that's true, but I am God's special little girl and I will always be beautiful because of that.

I don't care what you have heard, I don't care what you have been told, I beg you please remember this: Beautiful is not just a word, it's an attitude. Beautiful is not what the media shows us, it's what you make of it. 

God bless <3 You're beautiful!!

I'm not poetic and I'm not a poet

Ok so poetry is not my thing, but every once in a millennium I'll get really really inspired and I'll write some pretty cool stuff. I was thinking about my future husband one time and I decided to write this poem for him. I write other things for him as well so why not throw some poetry in there right? So here it is.

I can't believe you gave me this chance, the chance to love without any fears You never fail to make my heart dance so I pray it dances for many years Our God has blessed us beyond compare so forever and always, to Him be the glory My love, let's never seize to lift our prayer of living out a godly love story I still remember when you whispered "no doubting", the doubts went away as we embraced I could not keep myself from smiling and inside of me, my heart raced Your eyes are gorgeous like the moon, they always show me my reflection In them, I will see your wife soon For only you have my affection I promise to bear that ring with pride I promise to someday say "I do" I long to call myself your bride I long to say that I love you

Well since I've been challenged....here's 6 weird things I do

As some of you may know, my dear Becca Lathorn has challenged me (along with some others) to blog about weird things that we do. You see I had to think about this one, I'm a rather strange kid, choosing JUST six was not easy but somehow I made it, so here we go:

1. In my head, I have an entire superhero story line about my life
Ok so have any of you ever seen that picture with the kid saying that his life is so much more interesting in his head and you see a shadow of him fighting a dragon? Yep. That's me. I have this whole storyline of me being a normal teenage kid who discovers that she has a dark side and a good side and one is controlled by an angelic spirit and another one is controlled by a demonic spirit so I'm thorn between the two, they both have powers and I can't control them yet, but when they mesh together, I become this incredibly powerful princess, only it can't happen too often cause well...I would embarrass all of my enemies. Ever seen Xena, Warrior Princess? Well imagine that mixed with Oh! My Goddess, Narnia and Sakura CardCaptor. Yep, so far I've had to fight an army of werewolves and demons and I've had to go down to the Underworld to visit my father (hence the dark/demonic side). I also have a pet Griffin who's a boss and an army of the most powerful 7 angels at my command (they're all guys), and since every good story needs a love story, Ezerrel would be my love interest, he's the head angel (for those of you that know my real life love interest, I will shoot you if you tell him any of this, you are forbidden from showing him this). I also have 3 female demons that work by my side when we have battles, and guess what? I can shoot a bow and arrow!! It's so cool! I'm still working on the whole wielding a sword thing but at least I can use daggers! And some other cool powers :) *Sigh* If only....this is what happens when you watch too much t.v and do 3 years of drama in high school...

2. I have a rather eerie obsession with the moon
So a couple of days ago my dad was saying how I was just born with my name, my name is connected to the moon. Ever since I can remember, the moon has been super important to me and I always seem to be stunned when I see it, I just stare at it. I can stare at it for hours and hours and when I'm not feeling well or when things are going bad, I just stare at the moon and everything goes away. And I look for it every night, to me it's way more than just another thing in the sky. It's so weird. I am literally obsess with it.

3. My insults are....well....interesting....
I'm REALLY BAD at insulting people, like really bad. So this year in zoology I learned my favorite word in the english language: marsupial. Yep, I love it. So since it's a cool word and I like to say it, whenever I want to be mean to someone I call them a marsupial. Another one of my favorites is calling people vegans, I got that from a friend. Oh, and if you're a vegan marsupial that eats peaches then...you're pretty much the worst person on Earth...

4. I am utterly incapable of controlling my laughter
I cannot tell you the amounts of times when I have literally "rolled on the floor laughing", one time my cousin took my sister and I to see a movie and after we were done, we went out to the parking lot and he said something funny and I dropped to the floor for like a good 5 minutes, literally laying there on the parking lot just dying of laughter, needless to say they ran to the car and almost drove away without me. I've cried and peed because of laughter way too many times. And in dance class one time, I went the entire 45 minutes dancing and laughing at the same time, my teacher was looking at me like I was nuts! Oh and if I'm too tired or if I've just had a Monster....yeahhhh, it gets worse....

5. I loveeeee picking my scabs!
Seriously, I have scars all over my arms, knees and legs that are results of me picking my scabs. I just find it so much fun!! It's painful AND satisfying at the same time, it's the best of both worlds!

6. I desperately wish my life was either a John Hughes movie or and 80s/90s Japanese anime
If God ever decided "Screw it, I'm done with this kid!" and quit His job as director/writer of my life, I would gladly bring back John Hughes and have him direct my life, come on, I could bond with random strangers in detention, I could wear a pink dress to the Prom, I could ditch a whole day of school and tour around Chicago, I could have a fantastic musical number or dance routine FOR NO APPARENT REASON!!! And if Mr. Hughes doesn't feel like coming back, then I can just call Mr. Akira Toriyama and have him give me super cool strength and glowing blonde hair as I fight off evil aliens and set out to look for the Dragon Balls.

So yeah, those are a few weird things about me. As a treat for you all here are a few extras: I like walking barefoot no matter where I am, I love strawberries with peanut butter, I talk to myself in public all the time and sometimes people think I'm talking to them and I have to reply by saying "sorry, I was just talking to myself" and I have overly dramatic reactions when I'm watching t.v or movies, I also like to yell at the t.v when people are being stupid.

Well there it is, I hope you guys like it. God bless!!!

What Hurts The Most: Part 2 - Mistakes

Now I don't know how many of you are like me, I like to beat myself up for my mistakes all the time. Humans have this inability to understand how perfectly imperfect we are, and when we make mistakes, we like to act as if it were the first time we've ever made a mistake in our lives and we dwell in it and dwell in it and dwell in it.

This time, we hurt because we are hurting ourselves, we realize how stupid we were or how mean were and we recognize that what we did was not something we would usually do so we stay stuck on that. Or we hurt because the consequences of other people's mistakes are hurting us and the pain is so deep that it seems like you are never going to get out of that pit.

I don't know how you react when you make mistakes but I can tell you about my reactions. I used to make mistakes and not care about them, I didn't think about them because to me, they weren't mistakes. As I grew older I realized that (shocker) I'm not perfect!!! (I know, I know, just let that sink in for a second...) And that I'm not the only person in this world, the universe does not revolve around me. There was a bit of an attitude change because if I made a mistake I would condemn myself and beat myself up for it but I wouldn't do anything to correct my mistake unless someone spoke to me about it. However, to me I was still an idiot, I was still stupid and terrible for even making the mistake in the first place, as if perfection was an option for me in my humanity. If you're beating yourself up over your mistakes, just don't, it's as if a zebra was beating itself up over it's stripes, you can't help making mistakes, we are all human.

My reaction when people made mistakes that affected me was pity, I pitied myself and I made myself the victim. Yes, life is unfair, sometimes we are going to get hurt simply because we are caught in the midst of things, God changed my perspective which allowed me to let go of my suffering a bit. When people make mistakes that affect you, realize that they may be hurting you, but the reality is that they are hurting themselves even more. It's sad really, I look at the people that have seriously hurt me before and I see the consequences of their mistakes affecting them now and I begin to forget that they hurt me in the first place.

Humans are bound to make mistakes, it's a reality. There are two quotes that I really like that help me deal with those moments when I make mistakes:

"You live and you learn" You see life...life is this big book full of fables, each page is a day, a day of your story. Inside that day there are many stories, some days you're going to make really big mistakes, some days you're going to make little mistakes, but at the end of every fable there's always a lesson, a moral to be learned. That's life, you have to live it to learn its lessons, you have to dig into your mistakes so that the lessons can dig into your heart. It is your choice whether or not you want to learn from your life but never forget that whatever happens, only YOU can live YOUR life, if you don't learn the lessons that are set before you, no one else can learn them on your behalf.

“You acknowledge your mistakes, and learn from them. Then you pick up and move on.” When you make a mistake, first things first, recognize that it's a mistake. Don't kid yourself and start blaming other people. The second thing you do is you learn from it, don't let guilt take over you, look to see what is there for you to learn in that situation. Then you do something about it, whether it's fixing things or apologizing, but you can't move on unless you do something about the situation. Situations in life are there to push our character, to take us beyond our lines drawn by pride, sadness, anger or whatever. Life keeps moving for a reason, we are not meant to be stationary, we are not meant to dwell in our mistakes, Christ wants us to live life to the fullest, whether you are a believer or not I'm sure we can all agree that letting the pain of our mistakes affect us on a daily basis sends us into a vicious cycle of guilt and pain that does not let us live life to our full potential

Yes, sometimes your mistakes involve other people and they hurt other people, but if you really cared about that person's feelings, you wouldn't keep doing that to them, you would learn your lesson. At the end of the day, the consequences of your mistakes can drag down many, but they can only drown you.

Everybody makes mistakes, there are those who let the pain of their mistakes rule their lives and those who take that suffering and turn it into determination to live out their lesson.

Humans are bound to make mistakes, and we are bound to be affected by other people's mistakes. You are not perfect yourself, don't expect perfection from others. There's a reason why Christianity is based on God's forgiveness towards us, because whether we like it or not, forgiveness is the foundation of perfect love towards those who are imperfect.

What Hurts The Most: Part 1 - Commentary

So I've had a lot on my mind lately, and a lot on my heart as well, but I've been thinking a lot about people, I'm seeing so many people hurting right now. And they're not alone, some days I just want to forget about everything and listen to music for hours and hours without end.

As I was analyzing what hurts people, what drives our behavior, I realized that there are some key things, some main things that hurt all of us. Especially me.

Comments. What people say. That's one of the things that hurts us the most, there's a theory called The Lookingglass Self in which you see yourself through the eyes of others, you begin to define yourself based on  what others see and say about you. I can honestly say that it is really hard to fight this, to fight falling into the Lokingglass self effect (yes, to me it's just an effect) because we are taught to consider what other people say about us. Well lately a lot of comments from a lot of people have been hurting me deeply, I know that they don't mean to hurt me and that they don't realize that they're doing so, but that doesn't erase the fact that they're hurting me. These are people that I love to death, I do my best to concentrate on who I know myself to be, because besides God, no one else in this universe will know you better than you know yourself, no one knows the demons you fight or the thoughts that you think, that's all on you. So whether the people that hurt you with their comments are some of the closest to your heart, or whether they are strangers, only you have the power to give their words power, to give their words meaning. You see I am a firm believer that our emotional health is our personal responsibility, perspective plays a huge part in that, the comments that people say can either make you doubt yourself completely, or they can help you see who you really are. They say you're a loser, who decides what a loser is? They say you're ugly, what's the definition of beautiful? Do they say you're dumb or stupid? A letter grade or a number should not be a measure to see if a person is capable of problem-solving.

I realized that a lot of times we define ourselves based on what society says about a specific thing. I'm a christian and I know how God views me and it is still hard for me to fight off all of the negative comments, I've also been on the other side where I didn't understand how much God loved me and I can tell you that I became a different person based on what people's opinions of me were, people's comments had a huge toll on me in middle school and one of my greatest fears is that I will go back to that place again, that place where it was all about what people thought of me and not about what I thought of me.

Look, whatever you do with your life, for good or for bad people are going to have an opinion about it. Everyone you meet is going to have opinions about you and you can let those opinions becomes realities or you can let them be what they are, opinions, ways of thinking. If you want to know yourself, get to know your creator. Words only have power if you choose to give them power.

 I know about the power of words because I know that I've also hurt a lot of people with my words and for that I am truly sorry. Let me say this, people will remember the nice things you say about them, the good things, and they might remember them for a couple of years, but in the end people will never, ever, forget about a time when their heart was crushed because of something you said. They might forgive, they might get over it, but we never forget about things that leave a mark on our hearts and painful words cut deeper than we can imagine. So many people hear so many words of encouragement everyday and at the end of the day they still cut, they still throw up, they still hate themselves. That's because everyday all they can think about is the negative words.

Watch what you say to people. I know, I have to do it too.

Choosing to love people and encourage them is not easy, and we might hurt others subconsciously because we are not perfect, but it never hurts to keep your tongue in check and I hope you discover (the way I did) that loving others is one of the best ways to show love to yourself.

Live not by the words of a fallen society, show this fallen society what are the words to live by.

Marriage

Ok, hi! I know I've been gone for a while but I just haven't had anything in mind that I really wanted to blog about, I didn't die or anything though :)

But I heard a sermon about this so over the last few days I've really been thinking a lot about marriage, and I guess it's the perfect timing since there's all this stuff going on with gay marriage. So get ready, this is why I think gay marriage SHOULD be legal and why I am completely 100% against it. Beware: this is going to be a bit of a rant.

I have NOTHING against gay people, nothing at all, and I do know a bunch of gay/lesbian/bisexual people. The reality is that homosexuality IS a sin, Leviticus 18:22 says it and it talks about it in Romans as well. God said to love one another, love EVERYONE, but for some reason in our culture the words "love", "tolerance" and "acceptance" seem to all mean the same thing. Well they don't, loving someone does not mean you have to accommodate your believes and opinions so that that person can feel accepted, and just like love is not acceptance, acceptance is not love either, sometimes when people accept us for the wrong reasons we think we feel loved and so we crave that, we associate the feeling of love with the feeling of acceptance because we are living in a tolerant society, but since when is tolerance something that can measure how much you love a person? To me, love is everything that the bible says it is but the love for a neighbor includes loving that person by accepting who they truly are while not having the obligation of tolerating their life styles. I can accept the fact that some people are gay but I do not have to tolerate their life choices, does that mean I can bash on them? No, because then it wouldn't be love. I love gay people but I do not agree with gay marriage. Plain and simple. I accept them and their personalities but I don't have to tolerate their relationships with their partners. It's just like with any other sin, love the alcoholic not the addiction, love the adulteress not the action of adultery, etc.

Should it be legal? Sure, I don't mind that, but calling an apple an orange doesn't make it an orange, and calling gay marriage "marriage" does not make it marriage. So...what is marriage?

A couple of days ago I was in Ephesians 5: 22-33, it talks about marriage and the role of the wife and the role of the husband. Well I was thinking, marriage is the biggest picture of how our love and our relationship with God should be like. When you really like someone, you think about them all the time, you long to talk to them and be with them, to be held by them, your heart jumps at the sight of that person, every little thing they do means the world to you and so on and so forth, two people that are married feel all of this and more, especially at the beginning of the relationship. You don't want to harm that person, you want to do everything in your power to keep them from heartbreak, you want to be a source of joy in their life, the reason why they smile everyday.

God loves us like this and even more so, he desires our attention, he thinks about us all the time, when we call out to him and pray to him his Spirit lights up and his heart rejoices when we worship Him, that is how a man should love a woman, he should cherish her. We are cherished by God through Jesus Christ. Marriage is two people becoming ONE, a husband and wife are completely intertwined and whatever the husband does affects the wife, whether it's good or bad, well although our actions don't affect God, they play a role on the plans he has for us, they don't mess them up! But they do play a role. But God's actions do affect us, the action of sending his son to the cross and therefore making a way for salvation affects our lives and how we live them, we are free to live by grace, we are free to have a personal relationship with God, a marriage with God, a relationship where we have a crazy love and passion for Him that we will defend until the end of time because we are now ONE, Christ dwells in my heart and I am his, I am a co-heir with Christ.

 The more I live life and the more I see people around me I realize that a wedding ring and a piece of paper don't make a marriage, two people willing to truly be one in heart and soul, to work things out through it all and to give the glory to God within their marriage make a marriage.

You wanna know why I'm against gay marriage? Because you cannot take something so precious that God designed as a picture of our relationship with Him and allow it to be used as a description of a sinful relationship, because it is sinful. The state can make it legal all they want, but if two people are not married in the eyes of God, then they're not married at all, and maybe it should be legalized, but until God says you're married, the world can say whatever it wants to say but sadly, you're not married.

The world's definition of marriage is twisted and defiled and I pray with all my heart that someday my marriage mirrors my personal relationship with my Father, that my love for my husband and his love for me amazes the people around us and that they may get a glimpse of how beautiful God's love for all of us is and how committed I am to my marriage with God.

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned." Song of Solomon 8: 6-7

Crazy Love and Rise Above It

Wow I haven't blogged in FOREVERRRRR!!!!!! Ok well I didn't die or anything.

Ok today I want to talk about Crazy Love :) Beware, this will be a very random post.

I was watching Pitch Perfect with my friends yesterday and in that movie they reference The Breakfast Club A LOT! The Breakfast Club is my favorite movie of all time!! It's a classic and the storyline is jammed with greatness, even though it seems like it's just a regular teenage movie. So if you haven't watched that movie go watch it NOW!!! (Spoiler alert) At the end of the movie, John Bender is walking on the football field and he does a fist pump because he finally got the girl, he got the princess, the beautiful popular girl that everyone wants. Well I've always said that if anyone ever does that for me I'm marrying that person and after I told my friends they were teasing me about it all night. lol.

Well when I was at youth group last night, we did the song Crazy Love by Hawk Nelson and wow. It impacted me a lot, it made me think about God's crazy love for me, see I haven't always been a Christian so when we were worshiping and the song was saying we were saved by crazy love, I just pictured Jesus doing the fist pump thing, because after 16 long years of the Holy Spirit being around me, I finally decided to accept that it is by grace that we are saved. Jesus already got this girl :) God has this immense crazy love for us that is too big for us to comprehend, we don't get it! And because we don't get it, sometimes we can't feel it, but just because we can't feel it, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. See that's the thing, God is so unlike us and like us at the same time, but his definition of love is so beyond what we know. We put a limit on love, he doesn't, he has crazy love, we have this skewed worldly definition of love.

We think love can just come and go like it's nothing. Love is so much more than that, God is like love's physical body and he never EVER goes away, he was, he is and he will always be here. His love never fails, we get this feelings and we have the audacity to call it love, we love our family, our friends, our partners, but unlike God, we put a limit on that. See I think it's so cool how God himself is love and how perfect that is because there's not a single human being alive that I can say I love like God loves, I just think his love is too great, it's crazy!! And he loves all of us like that, his love has no limits for any of us. Wow. I'm dwelling on that a bit this week.

Now, to change topics a little bit but not really, my friend and I started a ministry!! I'm so excited! The name is Rise Above It Missions.

The point is to show people love, for them to know that they are not alone in their struggles, we also have a facebook page and an email. It's not that big of a thing yet but we are praying that this grows, we want to help people so badly! We both have had our struggles and our passion in life is to help others understand that God loves them and that they never ever have to face things on their own. Please check it out and if you want to share your story please go for it.

 I guess that's it for now. I miss writing on here :) I've been journaling a lot lately and I really enjoy it but everytime I'm online facebook takes the life of me. lol. I think I have an obsession, ugh, social networks.....Anyways, God bless! Try to find God's crazy love in the little things, they hold tremendous amounts of love!